Becoming a Mom: My story

Tevan and I often get asked about our plans, and to be honest, we don't really have a concrete answer. It’s been tough for me to adjust to this uncertainty, especially since I’m someone who likes to plan ahead and know exactly how and when things will unfold.

Over time, though, I’ve learned to embrace the idea of letting go of small certainties in favor of the great possibilities life has to offer. We’ve always known that having children would be something we’d consider only in our early 30s. For most of our relationship, we were long-distance, and we wanted to make the most of our time together—exploring the world and pursuing personal goals—before welcoming a child into our lives. But no matter how much you plan, the universe has to align for what’s meant to come your way.

When we started trying seriously, I was convinced it would happen right away. After all, we were both at our prime and in great shape—call me cocky.

But when two months turned into five, doubt started creeping in. Waves of panic began to crash over me as I neared my thirties, the sound of my biological clock ticking loudly in my ears. It didn’t help that it seemed like everyone around me was conceiving so easily. At the end of the day, we’re all human, and we all have our insecurities. My husband, on the other hand, remained as cool as a cucumber. I used to get annoyed at how chill he was about the whole situation. He would always say, “Whatever is meant for us will happen organically.” By this point, I’d had enough of his positivity.

But slowly, his calm and positive energy started to rub off on me. Before I knew it, I found myself living more in the moment, enjoying life, and finally tackling the things I’d been putting off forever. I also made a few small changes to take better care of myself—trying out the fat-first diet and giving seed cycling a go. Nothing drastic, just little tweaks to feel better overall.

Then, I decided to take a test after I missed my period. There I was, holding an expired pregnancy test in one hand and a cup of urine in the other—my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts. To my surprise, two lines appeared almost instantly. I was completely taken by surprise. Everything felt surreal. I was so shocked that I ended up taking several more tests just to be sure—honestly, I couldn’t believe it. I vaguely remember walking on autopilot to the nearest pharmacy, my mind overwhelmed with a hundred different thoughts. When the second test came back positive, I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.

I showed one of the tests to Tevan, and his first reaction was that I had COVID! Talk about a mood killer. We were both in disbelief, so we took yet another test. But it wasn’t until the bloodwork came back positive that we truly accepted it. Even then, the news was so overwhelming, it took us a few weeks to process it.

The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, though. My mom was arriving in Amman the very next morning, and I was beyond excited to share this incredible news with her. What made it even more surprising was that this news came just as we were planning a trip to Milan for the following month, and my mom was about to stay with us for a month.

With so many exciting plans on the horizon—along with a few carefree, drunken nights with friends—baby talk had been the last thing on our minds. I guess what is meant for you will find you when the timing is right.

My Pregnancy Journey

Looking back on my pregnancy journey, I am filled with immense gratitude for the wonderful people who’ve surrounded me with love and support. Their constant check-ins, thoughtful gestures, and unwavering emotional support made all the difference.

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to experience a pretty easygoing pregnancy. Sure, I had a bit of nausea in the first few weeks, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle, and it didn’t mess with my daily routine. Although, I must admit, pregnancy has a funny way of messing with your taste buds.

I went from loving curry to barely being able to stomach it. Even now, too much curry gives me heartburn—talk about a plot twist! To cope, I lived on Arabic and Italian food. Hummus, falafel, shawarma, and pasta became my go-tos. We joke that our baby girl is 50% shawarma, given how often I indulged!

I kept up with my routine and even went on a trip during my ninth week. Having my mom around during that first month was such a comfort; her support meant the world to me.

Spending most of my pregnancy in Amman was an experience I’ll always cherish. I never once felt homesick, and that’s all thanks to my amazing husband and the wonderful friends we have here. They went out of their way to make me feel special—bringing food, treats, and just being there when I needed them. I was thoroughly pampered, and I loved every minute of it.

Maintaining my usual energy levels helped me stay active throughout my pregnancy. A big shoutout to my yoga instructor, Sonya, for guiding me through my second trimester. She shared so many useful tips and poses that kept me feeling strong and centered. Prenatal yoga not only helped me manage stress but also helped prepare my body for labor and delivery.

Dr. Wafaa Muhaisen, my OB-GYN, has been an absolute gem throughout my pregnancy. Her guidance at every step made me feel safe and supported. Her kindness truly enhanced my entire pregnancy experience, and I am deeply grateful for her care.

Since returning home, the pampering and affection from both my immediate and extended family have been spoiling me silly. Even while I was away, their constant check-ins, thoughtful gestures, and unwavering emotional support made all the difference and ensured I never felt alone. Baby girl and I truly feel blessed to be enveloped by such a caring and loving community.

I can’t talk about this journey without mentioning the one who’s been by my side from the start—my amazing husband. He’s been my rock, always there with unwavering support and kindness. From day one, he’s made sure I never felt alone in this. Seeing him step into the role of an incredible dad fills my heart with so much joy. Baby girl and I are beyond lucky to have him. Seriously, anyone who knows him can vouch for what a special guy he is. He lights up every room he enters, and we’re just so grateful he’s ours. Thank you, baby, for everything you do for us.

My journey to motherhood has been full of hope and wonder. Each day brings tiny miracles—a little heartbeat, sweet dreams, quiet moments of joy—that remind me of the life growing inside me. I’m learning to treasure every laugh, every tear, and every surprise along the way as I get ready to welcome a new kind of love into my life.

P.S. Baby girl is absolutely giving me "main character" energy right now—she’s throwing a full-on dance party in my belly as I write this. I guess she knows I’m talking about her, and she’s showing off her moves!. Let’s just hope she doesn’t plan on doing the mambo at 3 a.m. when I’m trying to sleep!